Thursday, August 29, 2013

Your Husband Is Not Dominant?

Your Husband is not Dominant

~Lea's Note: I asked Vile to write out some information for those of us that have significant others that don't understand, or have a tough time with our submissive sides. Enjoy and share...
This happens all too often, something late in life triggers the woman’s feelings. She wakes up one morning with all these weird thoughts, usually sometime in their mid 30′s to early 40′s. Anything could trigger it, something from their past, talking to people, reading, or even a movie.

Back in the day I use to see a lot of married women who were married. Yup they would either come over to my place or they would rent a room. It had nothing at all to do with sex, not in anyway.. These women had desires to be tied up, spanked, humiliated. Some just wanted to be talked to about the lifestyle. When I say a lot I am talking several. Many had talked to there husbands about their feelings. While some could not, because they felt dirty-- something had to be wrong with them. Or there husbands told them they were sick, they needed help-- "get away from me".

What you women are feeling is perfectly normal. Nothing is wrong with you.

Seriously wow... Okay let me get this straight, from my point of view here. If you've been married for many years sex is really pretty boring, foreplay is a thing of the past and it is now a job. The truth is you're having sex maybe twice a month if that, at about 15 minutes maybe shorter because someone is missing the game. Instead of trying to have a greater understanding of her feelings, he push's her away especially if she's voiced the need for 'something different'. She is no longer normal. She is a freak.

I really hope there are a few vanilla guys reading this, because it gets better. And the next little bit is for them.

Your wife has gone through a transformation. She is burning up inside, and you're worried about the fucking Nicks game, seriously? Your wife has turned into most every mans' dream. When is the last time you told your wife, hey come here and suck my cock, go to the bedroom and spread, I want to fuck your ass, or you have the need to just put her on her knees and face fuck her. Tie her up, spank her. These are things husbands get girlfriends for, but here you have a wife who will do anything you want ANYTHING.

What you're wife is feeling is perfectly normal. Nothing is wrong with her.

What does she want in return? You to spend some time talking, be a little firm with her, give her a few task to do during the day, call and check up on her. Hold her at night. She's asking for an hour a day now instead of the fifteen minutes you gave her. She's asking for greater communication so she can express her feelings.

Really? So why not watch the Nicks while getting head? What can be better than that? She will be anything you want: your wife, friend or your whore.

If you guys are not willing to bend, guess what? They're going to stray, begin to talk to someone else who has a greater understanding of their needs, what they're feeling, why they feel this way.

What they are feeling and asking is perfectly normal. Nothing is wrong with them.

As a matter of fact the medical profession is just now coming around and they are accepting the BDSM lifestyle. It is no longer a perversion.

Here is a just few little tricks to begin the transformation, in some cases you can train your husband to be more Dominant.

You as submissives or slaves can do things as well, to feel like you want. Pick simple task to do, things you think need to be done, point out what you have done. Make him tell you what he wants for dinner that morning. Make it clear you made the car payment, paid the cable bill, sweep and moped, dusted everything you do.

Start dressing a little more provocative, be more vocal during sex- I am not talking screaming or yelling- tell him  what you like. During sex talk to him, tell him tonight he can do what ever he has wanted to do without question. You already trust him, so being hurt is not part of the process.While watching TV just out of the blue start to masturbate, being casual about it. Come one now what man can resist that? Unzip his pants go to town or while in bed just do it without a thought. You don't have to wait for him to ask you to give him head. Do things that are spontaneous.

Although sex is not the base of a relationship, it does play a huge part. You can start the process of giving up control without hubby even knowing it. If you are questioned about anything your answer would be "I have the need". Your answer could be "well, I don't know I just have this submissive feeling". It will either raise an eyebrow or it will make him think.

What you are feeling is perfectly normal. Nothing is wrong with you.

Now on the other side, if your married to a Jehovah witness minister, eh, maybe look into buying some good toys, and just keep your thoughts a fantasy.

Maybe a few of these things will help…..


More from Vile:
You can find Vile at his own blog, which ALWAYS has great information and insight into his life

Note from Lea:

Please know that I will be monitoring the comments and will not tolerate belligerence in any form. Vile is a guest and no matter if you agree with his thoughts or not you will not attack him. Healthy discussion is absolutely permitted and encouraged.

Not everyone has to like someone's kink, but they do have to accept it's validity.

Ask questions, pose problems, whatever you'd like!


  1. Looks awesome would love to read this book.

  2. Thank you Joe for stopping in. It may just be a book in the near future, with Lea's help of course. Hope to see more of you.

  3. Good stuff as usual Vile. There are tons of women who feel like this and know we are not weird, but hearing it never hurts.

  4. Very interesting post with a lot of information. I bet you never told a naked woman who was playing with herself to move when she was standing in front of the TV. I was trying to get his attention, HA, I got it alright, not the comment I expected though.
    I do have some conflicting feelings, on one hand, I want to be tied up, spanked, have rough sex, forced orgasms. And on the other hand, my hackles rise when I'm told wash the kitchen walls, or whatever household chore. Is this common to have mixed feelings like this?

    1. The idea Juulianne is to stay ahead of the game, if you see something that needs to be done just do it. Although I do live in a Master and Slave relationship, I do at times help out. I do cook , sweep the floors, and even help out with laundry.
      There is a huge difference if someone is just barking out orders. I do like a clean home, but no one is perfect, I tend to look over somethings.

      I believe your partner in a relationship is very special. Mine always comes first without question. I will drop what ever I am doing if needed.

      Arianna makes a small daily list of things that has to be done, I look over the list to insure she is not taking on more than she can handle. I do not want her to spend her day off cleaning all day. Sometimes I veto things on the list.

      Thank you for your questions.

  5. Thanks for sharing, Vile! I agree so much! If you feel this way you are by no means alone. There are a lot of us who feel this way. If your partner comes to you with these desires see them as the gift they are.

  6. It is a very valuable gift indeed. Thank you for commenting.

  7. Why do men cheat ?